It is dangerous how my intuition talks circles around my logic until my logic is gape-mouthed and nodding in agreement.
Two truths and a lie (I won’t make it difficult): 1. I typically make a decision within one day of being presented with an option; 2. I use intuition first: What is my gut reaction to X?; 3. Frequently, when taking time to examine the logic of my decision, I find that it contradicts my initial impression (Hey, reader: That’s the lie.)
Naturally, my gut instinct is wrong a decent amount, yet somehow this does little to deter me from consulting it time and time again. I would argue that it fails me no more frequently than logic fails my friends who consider that wriggley beast their ally.
I’m sitting at my desk, right there in that little office with the overloaded bookshelves. My shoulders are hunched. I’m filling out employment information, pages covering the desk. I pause to reflect on how many miles away this opportunity is from the destination for which I originally set out.
Intuition: This gig’s no good. Back out.
Logic: We checked out the website. It’s a national-ish company. It pays real money.
Intuition: So was the last one… and that worked out really well didn’t it?
Logic: It does seem similar…
And on it goes. I won’t bore you. Logic coming around and agreeing that it’s best to stay away from scenarios like these. On top of all this I have a sense of waiting… waiting for the “right opportunity”.
I’m on a deserted road with my skills packed neatly and a clear picture of where I want to be. Crazy people stacked up on a tricycle lurch past and offer me a ride. This is all wrong, but I try it, out of a need to get somewhere. It doesn’t last long and I’m back on my own two feet staring up the road. Something is coming… the right opportunity will come. I won’t see it if I’m in the back seat of a van headed nowhere fast.
No thanks, I’ll walk.
I think you ran over my glasses.
(Introducing Voice of Reason, also known as my darling husband.)
Me: It seems pointless to pursue this. It will turn out just like the rest…
Dan: Why don’t you just try it out? It’s real money, and you can’t base everything on that one bad apple.
Dan: Just go to the meeting. Don’t sabotage yourself again. Who knows, you might like it… it might open a door.
It’s a good thing I don’t rely solely on my own powers of wisdom (however marvelous I imagine them to be). He was right (D: What did you say? A: I said you were right honey, you were right). I went and this company is different… this seems like it could be a good thing… even if it’s just a small thing.
Sigh. Thankfully I’m not the only one with a pink-tinged perspective.