I recently devoured a book by Liz Pryor written about the mysterious, complex and sometimes brutal friendships between women. In her book she identifies the common, yet unexplored phenomena of female-breakups. You know what I mean… when that lady you’ve been sharing coffee, yoga mats and intimate life details with suddenly drops off the radar. I imagine that if you haven’t been on the receiving end, you may have been on the leaving end. The one left behind feels confused, ashamed, betrayed and sometimes reaches out to her closest friend asking “Why?”, usually only to be met with “I’m just soooo busy right now.”
This, my dears, is the classic, keep-your-hands-clean, passive-aggressive ending to so many of our female relationships. Many of us can appreciate both sides of this story, because really, how do you break away from a friendship that started wonderfully, but just hasn’t evolved the way you wanted it to? Plus you hate the way she says “croissant” like she’s teaching a French class and how every accomplishment of your own needs to be met by her like some crazy grade-school competition.
Sometimes we just need to move on. Sometimes they need to move on. But how?
I must admit that my primary appreciation of this text was simply knowing that I’m not the only one that has been “dumped” by a close friend. It’s amazing, really, that we feel so ashamed and want to badly to put that experience behind us that it NEVER comes up when we talk to other women, regardless of the fact that nearly all of us have experienced it at one point or another.
Well, dearie, the dozens of stories shared in this book will relieve the burn with the soothing salve of normalcy, which might just encourage you to reflect on the less-than-kind ways you treated women that thought of you as the jelly to their peanut butter.
How is that for some rose-tinged reality?